


There's Only One Thing That Gives (Worthless Trash) Me Hope

by Umbra_Writes



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Au where everything is sorta okay, Crushes, High School, Illnesses, Injury, Pain, Self-Hatred, the world wasnt destroyed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:49:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22491835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbra_Writes/pseuds/Umbra_Writes
Summary: Nagito is alone. He knows this, it's better like this. The people he loves and cares about only gets hurt so what's the point? Of course there's one person, one person in this whole God forsaken world that gives him hope... But that person will never know, Nagito refuses to let him know.
Kudos: 7





	There's Only One Thing That Gives (Worthless Trash) Me Hope

_ Sometimes I feel like I’m someone else. That maybe I’m not actually worthless and I don’t only bring death to those around me...but something always seems to come crashing down to remind me. No matter what happens though I never seem to die, I guess my luck still wants me alive for...something. I can’t exactly say I’m unlucky...It seems to be bad and good luck that has latched itself onto me. A good thing will happen and then something horrible will happen. I suppose it’s because luck has to balance itself out, even though sometimes I don’t think it does as much good as it does bad...but maybe...No that’s a stupid reason. _

  
  


Nagito ran a hand through his hair, not something he exactly did often but in the moment it was irritating him. In reality he couldn’t even remember why he had come over here, he had a plan to do something, or he thought so at least but now that he stood at the entrance to the woods he couldn’t remember a single thing. The forest certainly wasn’t the biggest but since he did live in a decent sized city he wasn’t surprised it was so small. Nagito hadn’t brought anything with him to help jog his memory. “I suppose I could go for a walk since I’m here.” He hummed, making his way into the trees. The forest was decently dense but it wasn’t any problem for Nagito to make his way through. 

  
  


“Now how do I make my way back?” Nagito asked, looking around the tiny clearing he was in. He sighed quietly before he shrugged, “Oh well! I’ll find my way out eventually.” Being lost in the forest wasn’t the worst thing that has happened to him. 

  
  


It took him  _ only  _ three days to find his way out of the forest. Nagito stumbled from the forest, “Ah, it’s much bigger on the inside than it looks.” he felt like he had already said that before. Oh well. He ruffled his hair, removing whatever sticks or leaves had found their home there. He leisurely made his way back into the city, it’s not like anyone was waiting for him, if he wanted he could have stayed in the forest longer but that wasn’t the most thought pleasing to him currently. 

  
  


Nagito shut the door behind himself, leaning against it for a moment as he regained his breath, he wasn’t exactly in perfect health. As he leaned against the door he listened, the emptiness of the mansion slowly creeping into his ears as if ready to engulf him. He moved away from the door, heading towards the kitchen, he was, not surprisingly, hungry. Opening the fridge, he looked over what was in it, he’d have to get groceries sometime soon… Not that he’d physically go get them himself, he’d just pay someone to deliver them. Most grocery stores did that nowadays anyways. He grabbed the first thing in the fridge, not caring what it was. He just needed to eat, his stomach was aching, twisting and curling like it was trying to expel something but in reality it was begging, begging for something  _ anything.  _ Nagito made his way to his room, whatever food in his hand he’d eat in his room. 

  
  


The entire mansion was clean although most rooms were very dusty. Nagito didn’t exactly use many of the rooms, his bedroom, the kitchen and one of the bathrooms was all he used. He rarely entered another room unless it was a faster way to where he was going. He had no reason to use the other rooms, nothing to do. Most days he’d sit in his room on his phone, other than going to school. He didn’t exactly need to go to school, there wasn’t much point in it, he thought so himself but even so he still went. Mainly for one reason, his classmate  _ Hajime Hinata.  _ Nagito had never  _ actually  _ spoken to him but even just looking at Hajime calmed Nagito down, made him feel like  _ maybe  _ everything would be okay. Hajime gave Nagito  _ hope.  _ And he desperately clung to that hope like an injured animal. It was  _ disgusting,  _ Hajime had never even looked at Nagito once! Yet here he was like a desperate, dying animal, clinging to that tiny sliver of hope Hajime gave to him. Nagito could only imagine how disgusting Hajime would think Nagito was if he found out. Thinking about that made Nagito’s chest hurt, twist and clench unnaturally. It wasn’t his usual chest pain, it was always so much worse and Nagito could never get it to go away unless he forgot what he was thinking about in the first place. He really wanted Hajime to talk to him but Nagito was also so terrified of that. If Hajime talked to him what if something happened? What if Hajime got hit by a car? What if he was suddenly bashed in the back of the head? What if a building collapsed on top of him?! Nagito was shaking, he buried his head into his pillows, stifling his breathing. No, no, it was better if Hajime didn’t talk to him. Only bad things happened to the people Nagito loved, he’d never talk to Hajime, he’d never put Hajime in that kind of danger!!

  
  


Nagito didn’t remember when he had fallen asleep but he woke up on his back, staring up at the ceiling. At least he had eaten before he fell asleep. He rubbed at his eyes, slowly sitting up. His bones shifted uncomfortably as he moved, he took a slow, deep breath, his lungs burning and chest pained. He got to his feet, wobbly before he finally gained balance. It was going to be a long day...until he’d finally be able to see Hajime.

  
  


The school day was long, just as Nagito suspected but every class he had with Hajime just seemed to make the time go a lot faster. Watching Hajime made Nagito feel like he could breathe without any pain, his head cleared more than usual and sometimes, just  _ sometimes  _ he felt like he was worth something. Hajime never talked to him. Hajime had friends, plenty of good friends he spent a lot of time with. One thing Hajime certainly  _ didn’t  _ need was Nagito. He always forgot when he watched Hajime but Nagito  _ always  _ knew if he  _ ever  _ got involved with Hajime he’d just ruin the other’s life and potentially get him killed. But  _ God  _ Nagito so desperately wanted to talk to Hajime, he wanted to listen to Hajime talk all day, let him ramble on and on for hours on end and Nagito would just eat it up because whatever Hajime did made Nagito feel so much at ease, it was scary. 

  
  


As creepy as it was Nagito couldn’t help himself, he just wanted a  _ tiny  _ bit more comfort before he went home and eventually had a panic attack, he was sitting on a bench, his backpack on his lap as he watched Hajime and his friends talk, deciding what they were going to do today. Nagito clutched his backpack a little bit tighter to his chest, just watching Hajime smile and laugh made Nagito smile himself. He could only imagine making Hajime laugh...how wonderful would that be? Nagito being the reason Hajime would be smiling and laughing… Nagito could only dream! It would be so wonderful!! He knew it would never happen though...he clutched tighter onto his bag, his fingertips burned from the pressure, threatening to break. He was ripped from his thoughts as Hajime started to leave with his friends. Nagito let go of his bag, letting it fall to the ground as his fingers were finally given relief. As soon as Hajime left Nagito could feel all of his  _ despair  _ returning. He swallowed hard before he stood up, grabbing his bag and quickly leaving. He didn’t want to stay here unless Hajime was here.

  
  


Nagito threw his backpack onto the floor once he was inside of his bedroom. He fell onto his bed, curling up. He was tired and felt much more awful as usual, he couldn’t even force himself to grab his phone, what was this? Why did he feel so much...worse? This wasn’t his usual self loathing or depression, this was something much more awful. He just sighed, shutting his eyes. He’d just sleep...for now that was the only thing that sounded actually okay.

  
  


He woke up in the middle of the night, unable to breathe. His entire body shook as he took deep breaths but no matter how much he breathed it felt like none of it was going into his lungs. He struggled to sit up, his entire body screamed for him to not move but he stumbled off of his bed, slamming face first into the shut door before he was able to move back far enough to open the damn thing and walk through. He got to the stairs, his head dizzy, eyes unfocused, he took one step and instantly tripped down the long staircase. If he hadn’t broken any bones it’d be incredible. He got to his feet, almost falling back over but he managed to steady himself. Honestly if Nagito could he’d be laughing, he’d be laughing until he couldn’t breathe but in his current situation, his only problem was that he couldn’t breathe at all. He stumbled into the kitchen, grabbing tightly onto the wall so he didn’t fall over. His vision was becoming more and more unfocused, his head felt foggy and he could barely even see where he was going because of how nauseous he was. He got to the fridge pulling it open, he reached in grabbing the water pitcher, he downed as much as he could. Desperately  _ hoping  _ that it would help. He took a big breath, his entire body shaking violently as he was finally able to breathe again. Nagito stood in the kitchen for quite a while, breathing and waiting for his head to finally stop spinning so he could go back to his room. Once he could see and his eyes adjusted to the darkness he put the pitcher back, slowly making his way to his room. Everything  _ hurt,  _ it hurt  _ bad.  _ He limped up the stairs, almost dragging himself there. This had happened before but not this badly, not that he’d do anything about it but it was nice to know that something like this will more than likely be happening again. Nagito got to his room, not even bothering to shut the door this time as he went straight towards his bed, carefully laying down so he didn’t anger his bones any more than they already were. He stared up at the ceiling, his vision slowly going black as he more or less passed out.

**Author's Note:**

> I had no real idea where I was going with this one...just another "writing without an idea" thing, I plan on doing more requests it's just the fact Danganronpa has most of my attention right now. I have some requests I started writing awhile ago, hopefully I'll get to them sometime. I do enjoy doing the requests since it gives me an idea instead of doing...this  
> If you want me to write something about Danganronpa though now is the time I guess??
> 
> Help with tags is always appreciated.
> 
> Go give me a request!:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21230477


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